Staples
by DodgerHolden
Summary: Courtney runs out of staples and for some reason Spencer is insistent on getting some with him.


**STAPLES**

Courtney stapled a stack of papers before turning around to grab another stack. He couldn't understand why Spencer had been in his office all morning, and furthermore, why Spencer was sitting on the corner of his desk, clearly invading his personal space.

Spencer fiddled with the items on Courtney's desk, just waiting for his opportunity and he found it, as soon as Courtney turned his back, Spencer grabbed the stapler and emptied out all the remaining staples. He put the empty stapler back on Courtney's desk just as Courtney turned back around. As soon as Courtney looked down, Spencer threw the staples in his hand over his back shoulder.

Courtney lined up all the pages and went to staple them, but it didn't work. He frowned, opening up the stapler. He was out of staples, which he thought was weird because he could have sworn that he just filled it up. He shook his head before standing up.

"Where are you going?" Spencer asked, still occupying the corner of Courtney's desk.

"Staples, I need staples."

"You need staples?" Spencer questioned before looking at the camera and cocking his eyebrow.

"Yes, I'm out." Courtney stood up, empty stapler in hand.

"I'll come," Spencer said as he jumped up as well.

Courtney looked at him confused. He couldn't understand why Spencer was being so… clingy, but he decided not to dwell on it.

"'kay," Courtney accepted, leaving his desk and making his way to the supply closet.

"Where are you two going?" Derek asked from the couch, eying them suspiciously.

"Just getting some staples," Courtney informed him, showing Derek his staple-less stapler.

"Oh, cool. I need staples too, so…" Derek left the sentence hanging. He was about to stand up and join them, but Spencer spoke first.

"Derek, my man, you don't need staples right now."

Derek looked at Spencer confused. He really did _need_ staples right now.

Spencer pleaded him silently with his eyes, telling Derek to back down. It took a while, but Derek finally got what he was putting down.

"Oh, right," Derek said in a 'duh' tone, smacking his forehead for effect. "I just got staples."

Courtney looked at him confused. What was going on? He shook it off and reached out for the door handle. Just as he was about to pull open the door, it opened and Jayne came out, Q just behind her.

"Why are you all sweaty?" Courtney asked Jayne.

"Staples," is all she answered before making her retreat. Q stayed to brag.

"Please tell me you left some staples in there for me," Courtney said exasperated. Everyone in this office always seemed to be running out of staples.

"I didn't leave any for you," Q told him seriously, "but I'm sure there's some still in there somewhere. Get Spencer to help you find some."

Courtney watched as Q walked over to Jayne and leaned over her desk.

"I'll help you," Spencer reassured Courtney as he clasped him on the shoulder. "Let's go get you some staples."

"Spencer, I really don't need your help with this," Courtney said as he stepped out of Spencer's grasp and opened up the door.

Spencer waggled his eyebrows directly at the camera. "Oh really?"

Courtney walked into the supply closet and Spencer slipped in after him. The door closed and the cameras stayed outside. Courtney and Spencer still had their microphones on, so everything that was said, was heard.

"Why's it so dark in here?" Courtney questioned confused. "How am I supposed to find the staples?"

"I can help you find the staples," Spencer said, deepening his voice.

"Spencer, is that you? I told you I didn't need your help."

Silence filled the air and then Courtney gasped out loud.

"Spencer," he hissed. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Come on, Court, I know you love me, everybody loves me," Spencer said cockily.

"You may think that's true, but it's not."

"You need staples?" Spencer questioned.

"Yes, so? That does not require two people."

"But it's staples. Getting staples by yourself is never as fun as getting it with another, or three others."

"I just need some staples and then I can get out of here and away from you."

"Okay," Spencer answered. There was silence once again, but you could clearly hear a zip being lowered.

"Oh, hell no. What the hell, Spencer. No! Just no!" There was a lot of commotion and soon the door opened and out came an enraged Courtney and a less than pleased Spencer. "What the hell, Spencer?" Courtney asked once again.

"You said you needed staples," Spencer said as he zipped his pants back up.

"Yes, I did," Courtney told him as he held up his empty stapler. "I ran out mid-staple."

"Oh," Spencer said, faking realization. "You wanted actual staples."

"That's what I said. What did you think I wanted? No, wait, please don't answer that." Courtney shook his head, everything was finally making sense. No wonder everyone was always 'running out' of staples. They weren't at all, and then Spencer… No, Courtney didn't even want to think about it.

"It's just a little bit of office fun," Derek supplied, not helping the matter.

"I, unlike all of you, am the only one who does any actual work around here," Courtney told them all. "All I wanted was some staples and I couldn't even get that."

Spencer tried not to laugh at Courtney's choice of words.

"Here," Q said as he approached Courtney and handed him a box of staples. "We keep the staples in the cabinet over there to avoid confusion."

Courtney grabbed the staples and let out a sigh. That would have been nice to know before I was trapped in a small, windowless room with Spencer, he thought internally. Courtney took one last look at Spencer. He couldn't believe what had just happened, but then again he could. It was Spencer after all. He let out another sigh before going back to his office to finish his work.

"Boo yeah!" Spencer said as soon as Courtney left the room.

"Oh no," Jayne spoke up, walking over to Spencer. "Pay up, big boy."

"That's right baby, it's so big," Spencer told Jayne, reaching for his zipper once again. "How about me and you get some staples?"

"In your dreams, Spencer. Sorry, but Q has the industrial sized staples and once you've gone heavy duty, you never go back," Jayne informed him and Spencer just looked at her incredulously. "Now pay up. You couldn't get staples with Courtney, so you owe me."

"No, that's not what we agreed on," Spencer told her. "There was no set time frame and this was just one failed attempt."

"You're still going after Courtney?" Q asked confused. "Why? It's only a twenty dollar bet."

"Because I've never lost a bet," Spencer informed them before turning his attention to the camera, "never," he added before winking at the camera.

"Spencer and Courtney?" Derek questioned out loud. "I could dig that."

"I'm not gay, man," Spencer informed him. "I just don't want to lose this bet."

"Yeah, keep on telling yourself that," Q clapped him on the shoulder before he walked back over to Jayne. "Hey, Jay, guess what?" He waited until he had her full attention before continuing. "Those heavy duty staples you requested just got restocked and I've got your shipment all ready to be delivered."

Jayne let out a happy squeal before grabbing Q's hand and dragging him over to the supply closet. Spencer watched them carefully.

"Maybe I can use that ploy," Spencer thought out loud and Derek turned his attention back to his magazine. "Oh, Courtney," Spencer called out, "your shipment of staples just _came_ in." Spencer headed off to Courtney's office, but Courtney was wiser than him and already had his door locked.


End file.
